So, you’ve got a toddler! Yay! They are so stinking cute, with their little squeaky voices and tiny little hands.
I love the toddler years. They are my absolute favorite! But, there is, as with any stage of childhood, a downside.
Every child has them and no child’s tantrums are like another’s! How unique kids are…so special…
Anyway, here are 10 tips to help you stop those terrible toddler tantrums!
1- Enough sleep can help with tantrums
This is probably the single most crucial piece of advice any parent can read!
You’ve heard it a thousand times, and have probably said it yourself twice that many: “Oh, he’s just tired. He doesn’t usually act like this.”
Yep! Kids get a burst of adrenaline and cortisol when they are overtired. They can act hyper, aggressive, and just out of control in general.
This creates a cycle of unnecessary meltdowns and unnecessary discipline. How stressful for everyone!
What can you do to stop this cycle?
Well, you can create calm, consistent bedtime and naptime routines and have your child’s nap and bedtime fall around the same time every day/night. However you choose to have the sleeping arrangement in your home is entirely up to you, but consistency is the key.
A warm bath, followed by a story, brushing teeth, then “off to bed” is how we do it at our house. Soft lighting, soft voices, and a warm, soft bed.
2- Turn off the TV to avoid tantrums
Have you ever put on YouTube videos so you could have a moment of peace only to have even less peace than you started with after 10 minutes? I have!
That’s because a child’s brain isn’t anywhere near finished developing. Most children’s shows are designed to capture a child’s attention through rapid image changes. These shows cause sensory overload and can lead to major melt downs!
You can help prevent overstimulation by limiting, or even eliminating screen time. Shouldy you choose to keep the tube on, try slower paced shows, like Mr. Rogers.
For tips on how to limit screen time, click here!
3- Model good behavior for your toddler
Remember the last time you argued with your spouse? You both raised your voices, maybe one of you slammed a door or even threw something across the room in frustration? Your toddler does!
You see, we adults throw tantrums, too. Maybe not over running out of purple popsicles and being forced to choose between green and orange, but for other reasons. Having small children puts relationships, finances, and careers to the test. This is a stressful time for the whole family!
Just be cognizant of how you act in front of your toddler. Because whether or not he displays the behaviors he witnesses immediately, he has them catalogued. Trust me!
4- Give your Toddler less “no’s”
You’ve heard the expression “pick your battles.” Well, what if you simply had less battles to choose from?
Sounds good, eh? Have you ever heard of “yes spaces“? They are areas of your house that your toddler can access, without restrictions.
Basically, you put away things that you don’t want your child to mess with and be at the ready to teach your child the proper way to handle things that are left out.
Areas with child-sized furniture, complete with activities set out for them to do in their own are great “yes” spaces!
Less “no’s” means less meltdowns! Yay for everyone!
5- Maintain consistent boundaries and rules
Hold up. I just told you to stop saying “no” so much and here I am now, telling you to maintain rules and boundaries?!
Right. Because it’s all about balance. “Freedom within limits“.
Toddlers might act like they enjoy ruling the roost, but they actually don’t. Being in charge of everything is a lot of responsibility to heep on a little kid! We’ve got to bear some of that burden for them by implementing consistency in our discipline.
If little Tommy is used to getting a toy each time you visit the store, he is going to have a hard time understanding when you tell him that you can’t buy a toy for him this shopping trip. I’d be pissed if I were him!
If you don’t plan on always doing something, don’t start doing it in the first place. At least until your kid is old enough to understand and accept change more readily. Ages 1-3 don’t do well with change.
This applies to house rules and other boundaries, too. If you don’t want your toddler going into your bedroom, be consistent with redirecting them. If you don’t want your toddler pulling the cat’s tail, be consistent with teaching them gentle behavior.
If you are just now starting to maintain consistent discipline with your toddler, don’t get frustrated and give up when they meltdown. Be kind, acknowledge their frustration with the new rule, and let them feel those emotions. It won’t take long for them to accept the new boundry and acclimate, I promise.
Toddlers will test boundries, but they are looking to you to reinforce those boundries. So, be there for them. They need to know they can count on you to take control when they lose control!
6- Avoid overstimulation to avoid tantrums
Have you ever taken your kid to another child’s birthday party, a family gathering, or some other obnoxious place and had them suddenly crane their necks and begin chanting in languages from the underworld? I have!
I remembered taking my daughter, when she was almost 2, to a community swimming pool. The sun was bright, kids were running everywhere, and music was blasting over the speakers. We played in the water for a bit, but then something strange happened…she started running around like a banshee (Super dangerous at a pool!) and wouldn’t listen to me!
I can’t even put into words the meltdown that happened that day! I had no choice, but to carry her out to the car, kicking and screaming, so we could go home. The walk of shame. I could hear all the mean comments underneath everyone’s breath, to make it even worse. Even one of my best friends said that I should have spanked my daughter that day!
I knew better, though. I screwed up and took a 2 year to what amounted to a wild pool party. I couldn’t punish her for that! That was my fault!
It’s the same idea as with the TV watching; sensory overload. Basically, if you want to help avoid tantrums, avoid overwhelming your toddler with stimuli.
7- Avoid letting your toddler get too hungry
Now this one is a no-brainer.
Keep consistent meal and snack times. And when you are out and about, make sure to bring some snacks along!
And pay close attention to the timing of your toddler’s tantrums. If you notice that tantrums are happening close to mealtimes, maybe a small adjustment to the mealtime will solve the problem!
If your toddler is a hot mess when they wake up in the mornings, aim to have breakfast ready and waiting. If your child melts down after naps, have a little plate of cut fruit and crackers waiting for them!
My middle child wakes up HANGRY and it’s basically a race against the clock to get his blood sugar levels up to a decent level. After he’s got a little food in belly, his mood improves! Easy fix!
8- Tell your toddler what is going to happen ahead of time
This makes a huge difference for toddlers! They love routines because they love the security of knowing what’s going to happen next, and when something different is about to happen, they appreciate fair warning. And by “appreciate”, I mean they are less likely to throw themselves on the floor.
Even if the day is going as planned, letting your toddler know ahead of time that it’s time to get dressed, eat, go to bed, change diapers, ect., can help them transition to the next activity.
Transitions are hard for toddlers, but consistency can make all the difference!
9- Give your toddler plenty of time to think
Sometimes we overestimate our toddlers, especially when the begin to talk. We start to think of them as tiny adults. They aren’t, though. Their brains have decades of developing to do!
So, when you ask something of them, give them time to process the request and respond. Nobody likes to be rushed and toddlers are only capable of reacting so fast.
If your parenting method involves counting to 3 before imposing a consequence, make it a slow count to 3…give your toddler time to make a good decision.
10- Don’t do for you child what they can do for themselves
Sound time consuming? It is. But it’s worth it in the end, for them and you!
Little kids like to do things “all by myself“. It makes them feel empowered and boosts their self-esteem, which in turn can decrease tantrums.
Look, toddlers can’t really do much. And they are in control of very little in their lives. Give them control over little things, like putting their socks on before going to the store or putting groceries in the cart, and you just might find that they stop trying to control the entire grocery trip.
Give it a shot and I don’t think you’ll be disappointed!
Try these tips out and start experiencing better days with your toddler!
Oh, and…let me know how they work out for you! Comment below or follow us on Facebook and comment there!
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