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I need some mom friends!
Whether you are new to motherhood or are a veteran parent who has just moved to a new area, you know how hard it can be to link up with other moms!
And finding mom friends can be a problem for stay-at-home mothers and working moms, alike.
Does motherhood change you?
Before having kids, you were footloose and fancy free. Maybe you were a career woman or a college student. Whatever you had going on, you probably didn’t have to lug around a kids and a diaper bag,
The truth is, motherhood can be a lonely place. The friends you had before having kids seem to disappear. And for a while after starting your family, you put your need for friendship to the side simply because there isn’t much extra time…and sometimes meeting up with friends seems like it’s more trouble than it’s worth. But at some point, you will grow tired of talking about which special power each My Little Pony has, and want some adult conversation from someone who is in a similar phase of life.
My friends don’t visit anymore since I had a baby
It isn’t that non-mom friends are not important. They can be a ton of fun and are always good for a dose of perspective when you need it most!
But you will notice your non-mom friends will make themselves scarce after you have a baby. Sure, they may stop by to “ohh” and “ahh” over your little bundle of joy, but life changes after you have a child and distance between friends is eventual as focuses changes. It sucks, but it’s completely normal.
So, here you are in the midst of a new situation, motherhood, and you are longing for adult human contact, preferably of the mom kind.
How can I find mom friends?
Fortunately for you, there are some great friend-making options out the for you!
1) Facebook– I know, I know! Moms groups on Facebook can be harsh and super judgmental places! You have to fit into a certain mold in order to even make a post that isn’t deleted! If, though, you can find your “tribe” or at least a group of non judgmental mommas, you may just be able to make a great mom friend or two! And bonus if they are local!
I’ve read some other bloggers suggest joining Facebook groups of like-minded mothers, but I disagree with this suggestion.
I actually recommend steering clear of niche groups and heading straight to the general mom’s groups. You’ll come across less judgment and you will be more likely to make friends who challenge you as a person, open your mind, and bring you out of your shell.
Remember, the reason you are so lonely is because you are basically hanging out with yourself all day…do you really want to go searching for another you? Try to branch out a little and see what kind of amazing moms are out there!
2) Libraries and Bookstores- Now these are great suggestions. Most libraries host story times for various age groups and have monthly calendars of activities available to its members. The majority of libraries have a kid’s area with books and toys, as well. Kids aren’t typically allowed unsupervised in these areas…so your future mom-friend may just be trapped in there just waiting for you!
There are free story hours hosted at many local Barnes and Nobel’s stores, also. These are a lot of fun for kids and they offer a great opportunity for us moms to make friends.
3) Grocery Stores and Toy Stores- Do you know who buys the most groceries and toys in the world? That’s right, it’s moms! I’m not suggesting you make a special trip just to stalk the isles for friendly looking moms. I’m simply suggesting that while you are out shopping, don’t be shy about striking up conversations.
You never know when a simple joke about baby food or the price of formula is going to lead to a lifelong friendship! One thing is for sure, though. You’re never going to make friends by not making conversation.
4) Breastfeeding Support Groups- If you are breastfeeding, try a breastfeeding support group or LLL meeting to meet other moms. Even if your baby is a breastfeeding champ, there is always more for you to learn, and also a lot for you to share!
Websites for finding mom friends
5) Craigslist– Now, you’re going to think I’m crazy for even suggesting this, but Craigslist does actually have a section for finding friends. I actually have a “Craigslist friend”. Yep. And she as awesomely awkward as I am. We’ve been friends for 5 years strong!
I’m not saying Craigslist is the place to go to find friendship, but don’t rule it out entirely.
6) Meetup.com– Now, this is an awesome website! You are going to meet people with interests outside of changing diapers and crying. If you are an energetic type of person and you want to join a rowing team or hike a mountain with a baby on your back, this website is where you need to be!
7) Spend time outside– You are surely not the only person in your neighborhood with kids. Start a walking routine as a family. You are bound to come across plenty of kids playing outside!
You actually don’t even need to venture out of your yard all that often! Just be outside with your kids as much as possible. Not only is this great for your kids, but another family just may come strolling by!
8) Children’s museums- This is a great option! It can be expensive if you opt not to purchase a membership, but typically a yearly membership at a children’s museum is around $100/year…not bad, especially if you go weekly or even more often! Children’s museums are especially helpful for striking up friendships with mothers of young toddlers. Because, let’s face it, taking toddlers and babies places specifically designed for them is really boring. They stack blocks, climb, and use their imaginations in all sorts of ways…and they don’t need their parents for any of these things. So, in the toddler/baby areas of most children’s museums, you’ll find lot of bored parents. Strike up a conversation and see where things go!
9) Kindermusik and other baby classes– Enrolling your young child in classes is a fun way to meet other parents. Kindermusik is my favorite, but there are baby gymnastics classes, mommy-and-me dance classes, and even art classes for tiny ones.
10) Playground– Kids love playgrounds and parents love their kids to spend energy. So, naturally, you are going to find lots of parents at playgrounds, sitting on the benches or helping their little ones navigate the equipment.
Meeting other moms at playgrounds gives you an opportunity to observe their parenting styles (It’s not necessary to have the same parenting style to be friends, but some moms are just over the top and annoying to some people.) and see if your kids are around the same ages! The open air and bustle of the activity provides the non-committal environment that is perfect for striking up a conversation!
You’re lonely, longing for adult conversation, and maybe you’re even a little depressed. Just keep in mind that a line-up of potential friends isn’t just going to show up at your door. You’re going to have to do the footwork.
Good luck and Godspeed! I know you can do this!
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